STILL WAITING

It's been five days. FIVE DAYS. Still, no word on my COVID test result. 

Friday I drove through the testing center at Rhode Island Hospital to get the nasal swab. I tried to snap a picture, and all I got was a blurred out backdrop behind my dashboard...it seems like it parallells my experience quite well.

I got surprisingly emotional at the testing center. It was incredibly isolating. There were no lines, no people, just a few healthcare personnel who seemed very cold, and very nervous to even have me get close. I drove into the tent with my windows up, was instructed to keep it up while they got me a mask. 

They provided me with a mask, had me cover my mouth while they swabbed, and that was it. I was told "you'll get a call from the department of health in 72 hours." 

Well, 72 hours came and went and here I am waiting. I've called them every day after the 72 hour mark to get an update and it's as if the test was lost, or that the result is buried somewhere in a mountain of paperwork. 

To be fair, at this point the test result hardly matters anymore in terms of how it affects me. I'll stay out of work this week given the unknown result, and return to work next week donning a mask like everyone else. 

I stopped having symptoms on Saturday, so if it is COVID (which I doubt given the minor symptoms that it is) then I had a very mild course and hopefully I'm immune. Or, at least I hope I'm more immune than i otherwise would have been. 

Meanwhile, I've tried to find a way to enjoy the staycation we've been granted. Never have we had so much time with one another. It's hard to find enough activities to keep a toddler entertained by the way....she loses interest so quickly. We had a good plan that lasted >4 minutes: hide numbers on sticky notes all around the house to come back and "match" to the sticky notes on the walls. 

I think it lasted 6.5 minutes. A record no doubt. 

So we re-design our living room daily to be a jungle gym of couch cushions.

It's not that I'm not grateful for being at home, in fact, I'd much rather be home with Adler than out and about, it's just strange and oddly nerve wracking.

But it's important. We haven't gone to he grocery store, the pharmacy, the coffee shop, no where but home and around the block on a walk or to trial her new walk. 

Life is simpler and yet so much more complex all at the same time. On the way home from testing this vision of people waiting in line at the ATM was just another example of how life has changed. 

Or like how we've said hello to our friends, Karen and Chi Fong, Ali and baby Willow--through a glass door on their walk.

We've been busying ourselves with going through boxes of belongings. We've come across quite a few old seahawks jersey's and we've tried to teach Adler how to cheer for a touchdown :)

When I spiked that fever on Friday we were preparing for the worst and felt an odd sense of relief to find Diana's pulse oximeter from when she had it at home at the of her days to keep an eye on her own oxygen levels. Thankfully, Tom and I have not had to use it for anything meaningful. 

I'm having several Zoom meetings a week with lectures of various topics while Tom and Adler go explore in her new "trailer." 

Ironically this time was the time of year I was looking forward to the most because I got to rotate back through the oncology service. In my head it was going to be the best time of the year. I get to do oncology without all the weight of being a new fellow. Which meant (again, in my head) that I got to absorb like a sponge without feeling overwhelmed by the new title and new responsibilities. Now I joke with the current fellows about skyping in to surgery...not possible but I wish it was so I could get a glimpse of the surgeries I would have otherwise been a part of, the few surgeries that are still happening amidst the craziness.   

Sigh....for now, I continue to wait. But I'm not holding my breath. I'm grateful to be symptom free. I'm grateful to be with my family. I'm grateful to not be at work and to get some time to rest. 

I will return to work next week and I can only imagine how much more intense it will feel after having had such a slow down these past few days, and because of the surge that is  on it's way to RI. Here's to hoping we're now immune to COVID 19!