The sun came out

It's now May and I think both literally and figuratively the sun came out in our lives.

It is now officially May, the weather is warm, I'm no longer working the night shift, and Adler is consistently sleeping through the night -- all things that we are all incredibly grateful for. She goes down around 7:30 every night and sleeps (for the most part) like a dream until 6:30AM. We're consistently amazed.

Although, she has developed a habit of sleeping in awkward positions in daddy's arms like this:

Or with a pacifier in like this:

She's our beautiful little weirdo

 

With a smile that melts us instantly and a giant noggin :)

 

And I'm not just saying her head is huge --it's an objective finding as we learned at her 4 month check up. She got her vaccines and was weighed in at 14 lb 2 oz. Her height and weight were in the 50th percentile but her head circumference was 98th percentile!

 

She took her vaccines like a champ (upset while they were happening of course) but settled down without an issue afterwards

 

I felt fortunate to be able to sneak away from the hospital to go with her  and Tom to her appointment!

I'm on a breast cancer rotation right now, so I'm on a lighter schedule when it comes to work hours. It's sometimes a "heavier" rotation psychologically, but it's something I actually really enjoy. Call me crazy, but helping women with cancer is definitely something that makes me feel like I'm actually doing something good with my life. ---although Adler makes me feel that way all the time. 

We got to play in the dirt with Adler a few times already this spring. I remember when I was still pregnant, dreaming of the days where I'd get to garden with Adler, playing with the dirt in our fingers and toes and watching life grow before us. 

Now, she may grow up to hate gardening but she's pretty pliable now, so I'm taking advantage. 

While Tom was still in Seattle settling affairs, Nanna once again came to the rescue as I mentioned in my last post. So, one morning after a night shift we planted some seeds in the sunshine. 

And, just this weekend, we were able to plant seedlings that had sprouted in the ground!

Other life events...my car got hit outside of the daycare last week. 

Thankfully Adler and I weren't in the vehicle. The damage was confined to the front bumper too, so that's good. It's funny how life puts things in perspective. 

 

I bet if this had happened a year ago I would be really upset, tearful even, at the event itself and stressed about how I was going to deal with getting it repaired. Somehow, after the last 6 months that we've had, I feel like it's no big deal. I wasn't hurt, it's just a car, and the lady that hit was insured. Will it take months to finally get settled? Probably. Does it matter in the grand scheme? Not really. When you have a happy, healthy baby and your own health with a cozy home, a stable income (even if it is too many hours) and a loving family, it's hard in this moment to see a minor fender bender as a stressful scenario. 

We get updates daily about how Adler is doing in daycare. We get to see her "curriculum" which, on her first day, included learning about shadows and light while playing with flashlights. 

 She's getting to interact with other babies and gets to read books and play. I've already been able to sneak over and see her a few times in her first week at day care because it's literally across the street from the employee entrance of my hospital. 

 

 Everyday that I pick her up I'm so grateful for our situation. Now, I just wish my schedule wasn't quite so insane so that pick up and drop off times were not so rushed or so early and late in the day, respectively

I finished a 24 hour call last weekend (ugh!) and slept a few hours and then we got our exercise on by helping Fei, my co-resident, move to Cranston (all the cool kids are moving here :).

 After a full day I craved sleep but it's just so hard to sleep when y ou have these two cuties at home!

 Sunday night we attended a residency-wide event at a duck-pin bowling alley. All the babies were in attendance, even baby Jack who was born March 23rd! He is pictured here on the left with his dad Vinny who is the husband of my co-resident Julia. She was a much more brave mom than I, letting her 6 week old out in public :). And what does our 4 month old do when she first meets him--SNEEZES all over him! I felt so terrible. But, Jack was accepting and hopefully he won't get ill from it!

 My department chair, Dr. Maureen Phipps (who trained at Brown and is now the chair of the OB/GYN department) snuggled the night away with Adler --that is, until the almost 2 year old of one of the chief residents wanted to be held simultaneously! 

 In other big news, Adler got to try out her first solid foods this week. She LOVED bananas (takes after her mom that way).

 2018 has been rough. I still feel water logged or lead-footed, or some other cliche phrase that explains that I'm just not myself. Life is hard. Adulting is hard. Having a baby in residency is HARD. Pumping breastmilk while in residency is HARD. Some days I say to myself "what am I doing?" and threaten myself and those around me that I'm going to drop out and leave the program. Other days I get to operate and treat patients in a meaningful way and I realize I can keep going. I want more time with Adler, I want more time to sleep, and I want more time outside in the sunshine but for now I'm trying my best to just soak in every single toothless grin that greets me