Trading places

What does a 70-80 hour work week mean? You enjoy all the moments (what few of them that there are) at home with your baby. Tom and I have officially traded places, he's home and I'm at work.

  I'll admit that I've been struggling this week with bitterness. Bitterness about going back to work so early, bitterness about working so many hours when I am at work, bitterness about serving patients that deliver their babies and then say how sad they are that they only get three months with their babies. 

I'm sure Tom thinks that I'm slowly going crazy since I all-too-often come home in tears but I think that's just a combination of 1. being a new mom 2. figuring out how to be a resident again 3. balancing the act of residency, starting a research project that I need to finish residency and 4. coping with the heartache I feel as I walk away from Adler every morning at a very early hour. 

But, I know she's in good hands and that she'll sleep peacefully whether I'm home or not.

 And she loves to snuggle up to her ever-growing population of teddy bears

We had our first baby-baby moment this week where Adler actually seemed to acknowledge the existence of Ali. 

 

It's so great to be joining the ranks of parenthood with Chi-Fong and Karen! Our lives are very different now and our dinner conversations about poop, bedtimes and nap schedules are too :)

 I think Adler's favorite activity is still bath time. Which works out nicely because it's turns out to be my favorite activity too!

When she's all snuggled up and ready for bed time is also one of my favorites though.

 Ok fine, let's be honest I have so many favorite moments that i can't pick one!

 She's getting so big!

  We went out to get Tom fitted for his wedding attire for Paul and Ashlynnes wedding in July. Adler loved staring at all the tuxes while I paced the sales floor and Tom got measured

 And with daylight savings time, we were able to sneak in a sunny walk when it normally wouldn't be sunny out!

We stopped by Adler's hardware store in Providence too :)

 Along with the waterfront which always looks better in the sunshine

What I'm not bitter about is how lucky I am to have such an amazing partner in this journey who is really killing it at this whole stay-at-home-dad thing

He sends me photo updates throughout the day which is always a welcome surprise

 

 Her cute face, no matter what is happening in my work day, always makes me smile. How lucky are we to have something like that in our lives that can bring a smile to our faces no matter what else is going on?

I missed Adler's two month doctor's visit but I'm kind of glad I did, because i missed the vaccines and the big crocodile tears that came with them!

 

It made our new tradition, bed time stories, that much sweeter that night. 

 

Today marks day one of a ridiculously long stretch of work for me. I will consecutively work from Sunday 3/11 to Friday 3/23, then I'll be flying for a whirlwind trip to New Orleans for a conference 3/24-3/25 and then I'm back to work 3/26-3/30 with my shift on 3/30 being a 24 hour one, just to cap it all off with a bang. I write this more as a way for me to be able to look back and read about what I was able to accomplish while a new mom in residency (because undoubtedly I will accomplish it no matter how daunting a task it seems right now) and not as a way to reap pity from you all. It's cathatric for me to write it down. 

So, here's to many more hours in the hospital and many more hours away from Adler with the oh-so-precious moments snuck in between. 

I'm so grateful for the purchase of the baby monitor that i can access from work and check out the "live feed" of her in her crib--which we are slowly but surely transitioning her to.